Unkept Secret
by Zylis
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive has never particularly enjoyed parties, especially after seeing the amount of women that go after Sebastian. His 16th Birthday party may be a different story as he tells Sebastian a secet he never meant to. SebastianxCiel.


Howdy doody! I haven't written in awhile and I've been dying to get a SebaCiel fic done because they are without a doubt one of my favorite couples. Hope you enjoy!

**Summary:** Ciel Phantomhive has never particuarly enjoyed parties, especially after seeing the amount of women that go after Sebastian. However, this particular party, thrown in celebration of Ciel's 16th is one he will never forget as he tells Sebastian a secret he never meant to.

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters of Ciel and Sebastian, if I did there would be a lot more scenes in the show...more like that would be the whole show.

**Unkept Secret**

Stone pillars stood proud and tall, their flawless cream stone intricately designed. Holding the roof high like a magnificent, extravagant painted sky high above the celebrations commencing below. Ciel Phantomhive had escaped the countless aristocrats that spread around the room and took to the dance floor. He couldn't take the business offers and close contact any longer. They flew at him like a chilled wind during the harsh London winters.

Ciel had found his hideaway behind one of the sturdy pillars on the fringe of the party. Elizabeth had decided on throwing this elegant party in Ciel's own honour. Today was his sixteenth Birthday and he was slowly becoming a man even though his cute childish features, much to his own despair, stayed with him. It wouldn't be long now before he and Elizabeth would be marrying and marriage gifts would bombard them. No matter how much he tried the young Earl could never bring himself to think of Elizabeth as his. His wife. _His_. It didn't sound right, at least not to him. The taste of the words in his mouth were unsuitable, like a bad choice of after-dinner tea with a dessert.

Such a bad choice Sebastian would never make.

_Sebastian..._

Every time the thoughts of what he and Elizabeth were to be, the demon's name would come swirling into his mind like a fog. It bothered him.

Swirling the fine wine in his glass Ciel sighed. His reflection stared back at him in the dark liquid, the rays from the chandeliers high above his head joined his own reflection. Ciel poked his head around the corner of the column, eyes searching over countless ball gowns and suits until he found his most trusted butler. Surrounded by women, Ciel's focus went to the raven's lips that were moving quickly as he entertained the women, some of them giggling while others blushed. That perfect mouth pulled up into a smirk and Ciel found himself captivated by it. It looked so..._seductive_. Ciel felt his own face heat up at the thought.

_'I'm being stupid.'_

"He can have his fun," Ciel muttered, gripping the glass slightly tighter before finally striding out from his hiding place. He ignored the people who called out to him, he could hear Lizzy's voice amongst the fray. Legs carrying him to the double doors that led out onto a small terrace looking out over the colorful, sweet scented garden. He paused at the doors momentarily before disappearing outside. Still ignoring Elizabeth as she continued to call to him, she was trying to see if he was alright.

_'Even I don't know the answer to that, Lizzy. Have I been alright at all these past years?' _

As he wandered closer to the wrought iron railing with flowers growing along it. He placed his wine glass down on the stone wall to the left of him and leaned against it heavily. Wanting to just disappear back home, but that would be improper. Elizabeth was his fiancée, it would be rude to leave.

Ciel let out a sigh of relief after escaping the party. Ciel was starting to hate classical music, particuarly the waltz. It was becoming a symbol for the unwanted social contact. He'd be perfectly happy to be at home signing documents or reading a book by candlelight in perfect silence.

Well not perfect silence, not when chaos was crawling through the halls of the Phantomhive Manor when Finny, Bard and Mey-rin were let loose and Sebastian wasn't there to rein them in.

There it was again. _Sebastian_. Every damn thought had something to do with him!

Ciel had come to realise at the age of fourteen, that he couldn't do a lot of things in his life. Sebastian had been there to do the tasks for him. Even dressing himself was something he had needed to learn.

_'What fourteen year old is so pathetic as to not dress themselves?'_

Ever since that thought had come to mind two years ago, he blocked Sebastian out of his room. He woke himself up bright and early from that day onwards and dressed himself, slowly learning the how to tie his own neck ties. Every time Sebastian would offer to help, he would blatantly refuse. He hadn't missed the confused looks Sebastian had sent him for the first week or two of this new routine.

It hadn't taken even a month before he had started to miss the feeling of the demons gloves caressing his skin as he dressed him.

"Damn it! Why am I being like this?" Ciel hissed under his breath and flung his hand out in frustration, knocking over the wine glass. It broke into jagged pieces. "What a night," Ciel sighed. He picked up the largest of the pieces of shattered glass and examined it.

"Bocchan?"

Ciel's heart jumped and he gasped quietly in surprise, hand slipping down the jagged edge of the glass as he dropped it. Blood leaked from a horizontal cut along the palm of his right hand. The crimson liquid sliding down his wrist in dribbling lines, running into one another every now and then. One deep blue eye glared down at the wound, trying to ignore the painful sting.

"Great Sebastian, now I'm bleeding," Ciel hissed and broke his eyes away from the cut to glare at his butler.

"My apologies bocchan. Let me help you," Sebastian said as he wandered closer until his tall figure came to be mere centimeters from the sixteen year old. Ciel was surprised to find his head reaching the demons shoulder now, it had been awhile they had stood so close.

"No."

"Bocchan, you have been relying on me less and less," Sebastian muttered. He pulled Ciel's hand up closer to his face to examine it. Pink muscle darted out from between perfect lips and ran along the bloody tracks. Sebastian's eyes holding Ciel's blue orb and Ciel felt himself blush and he had trouble thinking and forming words. Entranced by watching the tongue on his skin licking him in a way he hadn't ever expected.

He couldn't even bring himself to feel repulsed by the wet muscle sliding along the skin, he enjoyed this feeling Sebastian was giving him.

"Sebastian, what are you doing?" Ciel demanded after he finally came to his senses. He felt Sebastian smirk against his skin. He pulled his hand back before it made contact with the demon butler's skin with a sharp smack.

"Get back to your group of admirers, Sebastian. Leave me be."

"Is the young master jealous of those women?"

"Of course not! Now get out of here. Just leave, go make those women happy."

"You're being difficult bocchan. How can I fulfill my end of the contract if you won't allow me to?"

"I don't care. You wouldn't understand," Ciel muttered and turned away leaning against the railing. "Hell, I don't even understand." His hand clenched at the soft, expensive fabric of his jacket just over where his heart lay and closed his eyes. Willing this odd feeling that swelled inside him and warmed him from the inside out and made him want to smile whenever Sebastian was near to just disappear.

"I've been alive for a long time bocchan, perhaps I can shed some knowledge on the issue?"

"It's too human," Ciel replied easily. "Those women will be waiting for you, go back to them."

"Ciel?" another voice interrupted them before Sebastian could open his mouth to reply.

"Lizzy," Ciel stood quickly from his rested stance on the railing while he greeted her. She rushed over to him and slotted her hand into his. Ciel watched Sebastian out of his peripheral vision as he ran his lips over his cousin's cheek gently. Sebastian held the same stoic face as always but his eyes had narrowed slightly in Elizabeth's direction. Ciel's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Everyone has been wondering why the Birthday Boy disappeared," Elizabeth stated. "But I can see he's been busy in discussion with his butler. You want me to go?" Her eyes shifted between the two before landing on Ciel.

"Sorry Lizzy, I just wanted to finish speaking with Sebastian," Ciel replied and she nodded before slipping her hand from his and walking back towards he party.

"Come inside soon you two. It's cold out here," with that, she disappeared back inside.

"Bocchan, I'm here if you want to talk."

"I-..." Ciel hesitated momentarily before nodding, needing to get rid of the uncomfortable racing of his heart as he felt Sebastian's eyes watching him. "I have this...sick feeling in my stomach."

"Are you ill?"

"No...I don't know. It's happening all the time now, whenever I think of Elizabeth. I think it's worry..."

"For Miss Elizabeth?"

"No, the future. It doesn't feel right...I don't think I want to marry her," Ciel stated in realization.

"You love her."

"I do. I love her, but I'm not _in_ love with her."

"What brought this on, bocchan?" Sebastian questioned and Ciel shrugged.

"I can't have a single thought that's safe anymore. Someone else always creeps their way into my mind. Their _always_ in my thoughts."

"So you love them?"

Again Ciel shrugged and glared down at the cobbled stone under his feet.

"I've never been in love. How am I to know what it feels like?" Ciel stated before chuckling. "Nor would a demon know. Why am I consulting you?"

"Don't assume things," Sebastian whispered, his eyes trained on Ciel. "So who is it? In your thoughts."

Ciel stayed silent, careful to stare right over his shoulder so Sebastian couldn't read his feelings from an overly expressive eye. He made the mistake of looking into those red eyes for just a second and his body flushed as he turned away hastily.

"Oh," Sebastian whispered as if he had just had an epiphany. "Bocchan," he whispered again and walked closer to the teen who looked up at him with anger and embarrassment. Ciel avoided the outstretched hand that reached for him and hastily brushed past the demon.

"Don't," he muttered as he strode past to re-enter the grand manor leaving his butler alone in the dark garden. Ciel wandered over to where Lizzy stood surrounded by her friends as they chatted idly with one another, when he reached them they immediately grew quiet and watched intently. Ciel had to stop himself from rolling his eyes and offered his arm to his fiancée. As he asked Lizzy to dance all the other girls broke out into a fit of giggles, it was a fact known to Ciel Phantomhive that he would _never_ come to understand girls. Lizzy attached herself onto Ciel's awaiting arm and they were on the dance floor a moment later. His dancing had improved drastically over the years thanks to Sebastian's teachings.

_Sebastian_...

Again in his thoughts_._

"Ciel, is something wrong?" Lizzy's voice snapped him out of his thoughts and Ciel shook his head in reply.

"I'm fine Lizzy, just a little tired."

"It has been a long day," Lizzy stated softly and Ciel replied with a small nod. "Have you enjoyed your Birthday?"

"I..." Ciel tried to force out the polite words of how he enjoyed it and thanked her for the party but they stuck in his throat.

"Ciel?"

"It was good Lizzy, thank you for the party," he replied finally before sending her into a slow twirl with the music and catching her in his arms once more.

As the song ended and the other dancers broke into an appreciative applause for the quartet that had been playing Ciel could see Sebastian re-entering the party from the terrace where he had left him. The women who had been waiting for his return were on him once more as if they had a radar to tell them when he was near. This time Sebastian's eyes stayed connected on Ciel and he politely excused himself from the group of women, brushing past them and striding towards Ciel, his eyes never leaving his master's. Ciel noticed his approach and led Lizzy from the dance floor, bending to press his lips to her hand and thanked her quietly for the dance before hastily making his way to his old hiding place behind the pillars once more.

He could feel his heart strumming in his chest and he caught his breath, relaxing into his own world. Enjoying these solitary moments even though he knew loneliness would force him to re-join the party later.

"So, this is where you have been hiding?"

Ciel jumped as the low voice came from right beside his ear, breath billowing across his skin and a low chuckle came in amusement from his surprise.

"I was wondering where you had disappeared to before," Sebastian stated as he leaned against the pillar, looking down at his slightly shorter master. Ciel's eyes were trained on the wall opposite them, refusing to look at the demon. "Bocchan?"

The muscles of Ciel's jaw tightened and became visible under his pale skin but he said nothing. Stubbornly pretending the demon wasn't standing beside him.

"Bocchan, you know it isn't a good idea to anger a demon from hell, don't you?" Sebastian questioned. He caged Ciel, trapping him in between his arms which pressed against the pillar on either side of him.

"I've done nothing to anger you," Ciel replied coolly.

"I have to disagree, playing a game of running and hiding from me is quite infuriating, bocchan."

"I never asked you to find me. And I'm not hiding!"

"No, because that would be cowardly, wouldn't it?" Sebastian asked mockingly with a smirk.

"It's you who is infuriating! Go back to those women, I'm sure they're missing you," Ciel muttered, gritting his teeth together in an attempt to control his temper.

"It's always the children with the worst tempers is it not?"

"I am not a child, Sebastian!"

"Trust me, bocchan, I know. Sixteen, you could almost be counted as a man if it weren't for the childish looks and innocence that seemed to have stayed with you over the years."

"That's bull. I _am_ a man," Ciel stated, glaring. His eyes staring straight into familiar glimmering ruby eyes.

"A man does not run from his confessions."

"I never confessed anything to you!" Ciel raised his voice as his heartbeat sped up from a sudden wave of nervousness and insecurity.

"Not through words you didn't, but your eye told me. You are frightened of marrying Lizzy because you don't love her in a romantic way. You're afraid of your own thoughts because they are filled with me. They're telling you something because you cannot do a thing without thinking of myself. Your eye told me that you love me," Sebastian concluded, his voice lost all mocking tone and instead took up a gentler one as he stared down at his master.

Ciel swiftly looked away from the red eyes that were watching him to turn his focus to the floor, staring at where the toes of his boots and the marble flooring met as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. His hand reached up slowly to run a finger over the soft black fabric that covered his eye and he let out a frustrated sigh.

Sebastian's gloved right hand reached down to pull up Ciel's chin to make the younger boy face him. The demons eyes narrowed as the deep pool of blue and the eye patch hastily looked away again and Ciel's head twisted in the same direction slightly, trying to remove himself from his butler's strong grip.

"You're in love with me, Ciel."

Ciel froze, annoyed that the way Sebastian said his name made him smile on the inside as well as send a tingle down his spine. He looked back at his butler with narrowed eyes and a glare.

"You call me by my name? I am your master and I gave you no such permission to call me by my name. That was disrespectful, unnecessary and-"

Sebastian rolled amber eyes before slamming his lips down onto the younger man. Effectively cutting off Ciel's rant.

Sebastian's eyes slid closed as he enjoyed the warmth spreading from Ciel's soft lips, moving his own gently against the teens. Ciel's eyes were still wide open from surprise, his lips unresponsive and the rest of his body so still it could have been a statue. Sebastian's tongue slowly slid across Ciel's bottom lip and the boy gave a soft moan before his eyes finally slid shut as he succumbed to the new feelings that Sebastian's lips gave him. Sebastian's lips met the crease of his mouth once more and this time Ciel responded. Opening his mouth to the muscle which darted in and started to explore.

Ciel's hand rose to grab the front of the demon's pristinely clean jacket and fisted it. Searching for a way to ground himself against the sensations coursing through his body.

Sebastian's tongue coaxed Ciel's to come out of hiding from the back of the boys throat and it joined Sebastian's a moment later, dancing with and massaging the demon's own muscle. A low moan vibrated through Ciel's throat and was caught in Sebastian's mouth which turned up in a smirk. Pleased to receive the reaction.

They broke for air finally and Ciel panted, desperate for the oxygen he had deprived himself of. He could feel his butler's eyes watching him.

"Why did you do that?" Ciel asked finally.

"Why wouldn't I would be the better question. My actions mirrored my feelings, bocchan."

"But demons don't have human feelings. You've never shown any-"

"I have feelings and they have never felt more human," Sebastian interrupted and removed the glove on his hand with his teeth before raising it to gently caress Ciel's cheek before removing the eye patch. Ciel opened his eye slowly, blinking. The pentagram's lines faintly visible in his eye as Sebastian gazed at him in a way he had never seen before. Feeling vulnerable under such a gaze and yet incredibly warm, his body flushing again.

"My feeling's have been so human and I have never believed them more. I love you, Ciel."

Ciel's eyes flew wide, staring and disbelieving, yet wanting nothing more than to fully believe it. Sebastian's ungloved hand reached down to hold Ciel's smaller hand in his own and Ciel looked down to where their fingers were intertwined, blush spreading across his cheeks.

"I will probably be a demon that is made fun of for a thousand years to come for loving a human, let alone the one I am binded by contract to. However, that bothers me a lot less than I thought it would. Perhaps because I know it is all worth it..."

Ciel broke out into a small smile which he quickly hid from Sebastian but the demon had already caught it and was now smirking at the teen.

"And you? Do you feel the same?" Sebastian asked and the words were all caught in Ciel's throat. "I said before that you were in love with me...You did not deny it." The small smile on the boys face was back, this time no longer hidden as both hands laced together behind the demon butler's neck in a small embrace. The words he spoke caused Sebastian to break into his own smile.

"No, I didn't...Nor do I now."

_'He is always in my thoughts, good and bad, but I love him more than anything.'_


End file.
